The Moor, The Mason And The Alien by Richard Smith

I recently sent this letter with a copy of the first three chapters of my new manuscript to Simon & Schuster. It was sent to 14 different people there. Do you think it will get their attention?

Date: November 6, 2012 5:52:27 PM MST
To: editors@simonandschuster.com
Subject: The Moor, The Mason And The Alien by Richard Smith

Date: November 6, 2012

SIMON & SCHUSTER, INC.
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
Email: editors@simonandschuster.com
Web: simonandschuster.biz; simonandschuster.com

Attn: Jonathan Karp, President and Publisher
RE: The Moor, The Mason And The Alien by Richard Smith

WARNING: This little etude is by turns moving, disturbing, vivid, amusing, appalling, controversial and especially addictive. If you are easily emotionally disturbed, this book is not for you. If you are taking an MAOI Inhibitor, whatever that is, apparently anything can cause dangerous side effects, so this book is probably a bad idea too. If you are pregnant or nursing, you should not even read this very letter. Otherwise, hold on to your socks for a completely new vision and the wildest ride to hell and back that you’ve ever experienced.

Dear Jonathan Karp,

I don't know where it started or how it began. I woke up in the middle of the night and BAMM! Before I knew it, the first three chapters were written, Emeril Lagasse style.

Of course, I am aware that such activity violates the sense and sensibility of a good night’s sleep. Then again, you can’t halt the flow of progress, especially when it comes as an almighty inspiration in a blast of creative thought. Hey, some of my best ideas come when I’m in the shower (don’t try to visualize that – you’ll damage your retina)!

Then the voices in my head, which usually sound like they're snoring, told me to ‘Send it to El Hefe at Simon & Shuster.’ That, of course, would be you.

So here it is with a guarantee of more eye-popping, knee-slapping shenanigans to come. Remember, the time – she is a-ticking and my forthcoming manuscript represents an opportunity not to be missed. Read it through and let me know if you’d like to embark on this journey as publisher down the rabbit hole.

Will you choose the red pill or the blue pill? I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
Richard Smith

No, this is atrocious. There are some cold facts to publishing and these are they:

1.) You need to write the book first. Gone are the days of the "Here's some sample chapters of something I'm working on" promise. You'll need the finished manuscript, a chapter outline, and so forth. (It sounds from the letter that you only have the first 3 chapters done.) Google search the criteria or read a book on how to get published.

2.) You're not selling yourself, you're selling your book. You need to tell them what your book is about, not how amazing it is or how funny you think you are. They'll find that out for themselves. The letter needs to have personality, which you're displaying here, but that needs to be driving the plot synopsis. If they can't trust you to meet the basic criteria of a formal letter, they can't trust you to write a book.

3.) Don't send it to 14 different people, send it to the person who can best help you. What is your genre? Find THAT editor and send it to him/her.

4.) If it's a work of fiction, it's going to be a tough sell without an agent. The publishing industry is shrinking. It's hard enough to sell books by known authors, why would they take a chance on anyone new? They're more likely to if you're an expert selling a "how to" book, because that is something readers can use. There's always a market for that. But it's tougher out there than ever for new fiction writers.

Think of the problem like basic math: Simon & Schuster publish X amount of novels each year to a dwindling market. Because the market is dwindling, they need to be bestsellers for Simon & Schuster to stay in business. Therefore, they must be by proven best-selling author.

Remember that there's a reason for the submission process. These folks read thousands of letters from hopeful authors every year. It has got to be tedious. This helps weed away the bad. If they see no reason to read beyond the first sentence, they will not ruin their precious eyeballs with the next.

Hope this is helpful.

Hi UFOTEACHER,
I have only now joined this forum and have just read your post. Jeremy is correct on all his points. The publishing world is a minefield and is extremely difficult to get into. Most publishers stay clear of books about UFOs, they don't see them as a profitable market.
All I can suggest is self publication, Amazon offer an excellent service for you to publish your book on the Kindle, and its free, also they have a print on demand service which is also free.
Whatever you do steer clear of vanity publishers they will do nothing but rob you of your money and make your life a total misery.
I have just published a fictional novel on Amazon entitled 'The Angel Committee' I am not a millionaire just yet but the system works for me and its the best way, if you don't want to end up losing loads of money.
As for publicity for your book, its all a matter of getting the word out. Facebook and twitter are huge, build up your following and you may get a fan base with it. Forums like this one are a good way of getting the word out. There are still plenty of people who steer clear of social networking sites and come on forums like this to talk about UFOs. Don’t forget to ask the moderators if you can promote your book.
I hope this is helpful, good luck with your project.
Jason Chapman