- Jeremy Vaeni wrote:
- My movie, No One's Watching: An Alien Abductee's Story is finally available for next to nothing as a digital download here:
http://www.filmbaby.com/films/5169
If you like what you see and want all the extras, you can also purchase the DVD. (However, the DVD is a Region-1, which means it won't play on average players outside the U.S./Canada.)
Here is my review of same:
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Stunned Applause .,¸¸,.»§«,¸¸,.•´¯`•.,¸¸,.»§«*¥*»§«,¸¸,.•´¯`•.,¸¸,.»§«•.,¸¸,.
Let's forget for a moment that it's damned hard even knowing yourself, much less a stranger only encountered via his printed word or filtered through the sensibilities of, perhaps errant, others. Consequently, Jeremy Vaeni remains one of those guys I don't really know from frosted new-age Bunny-Pants.
Buckle up. That's as much disclaimer as you are going to get. I try to be fair.
See, "new-age Bunny-Pants" isn't fair. Right out of the gate there is more respect tendered for Mr. Vaeni than mere "Bunny-Pants" will allow, even if that is, unfortunately an initial impression. Yea and verily, "Bunny Pants" suggests an intimation that further investigation may be wasted time; said investigation might be considered... ill advised. "Bunny Pants" abound, indeed, no argument. Not so, our Mr. Vaeni.
So states the printed word and the filtered sensibilities of others, remember; but STAY your shaker of salt for a moment. With regard to Mr. Vaeni? There is suspected there, there, reader. Investigation is warranted, this writer warrants.
...We'll forget for a moment that the son-of-a-bitch can write (in a way that grabs this old soldier by his stacking-swivels)! Why, he's one of only two guys I know I'd like to be able to write more 'like', actually. Additionally, regarding the considered film, Vaeni makes its full motion dimensionality equally hungry for those self-same "swivels" aforementioned! I'm in no way embarrassed. Nor, reader, do I overstate. There is "There" there, as I said.
Still, I don't know him well. He could be another clever charlatan. He could be having a "joke" at our (my) expense. He could be a scabrous, syphilitic, scabe-ridden, scum-bag, also abundantly abounding! I've some unpleasant experience with same.
Still, even burned and shy? I don't believe so.
I do not believe so.
Vaeni was initially encountered as a result of a regular and very cleverly executed column he writes for "UFO Magazine." It's ironic that I'd not found him on the INTERNET, but noticed him first in a technology as old as last millennia... a fragging pulp magazine, even if an excellent example of one... [bow..scrape..bow..scrape..not worthy..not worthy] ...but I digress.
He makes films, I said. "Hungry film," I very eerily proclaimed. Film that consumes you. Consider the consumer consumed.
Did I say he was funny? I mean that both ways, too. Laugh out-loud (with him)... and 'peculiar' don't-want-to-look-but-can't-turn-away "funny." Discover that's a good thing...
...And you get the feeling that he has throttled way back on his humor, reader, refrained from stoking that boiler gratuitously... Eh? In his way, after his fashion, passed through his filter, and through his lens? He would have you take him seriously.
I shall.
The film? Well... think "Blair Witch Project" but dial it back about nine points (lose a lot of the tormented snot), re-point it into the non-gratuitous but weirdly akimbo... ...and then push the "improbability path" *hyperspace* button. As I've really never seen anything like it? I can't tell you what it is... reader. I've a reasonable intelligence, would paint with words, peeked around the corner, or caravanned around the block multiple times... I fall short.
I must add that that is my failure and not Jeremy Vaeni's.
Why do you watch? I can sum it up into two words. Raw Honesty.
More words: searing sincerity, swashbuckling intellectual courage, talent in confident display... astonishingly constructive humility and self-deprecation avoiding, somehow, the pathetic.
The honesty is Raw enough to blister ones countenance and abundant enough sometimes to make you squirm in your seat.
...Strange honesty! Honesty that makes you flinch, but a flinch somehow compellingly revisit-able. See, you have some difficulty believing that you saw what you saw, so you revisit it to find that you see what you see, you see? Ouch... that hurt a little bit, but it's close.
Be forewarned! Vaeni's honesty is of a kind to which most will be unacquainted. See, people are unused to true novelty... with virtual "bupkis" salt-less on a thousand channels of television, a million web pages, plus billions of books, papers, and flaccid magazines.
Verily, Vaeni's film has an honesty that hurls itself at you like a rock! You are not safe watching the filmmaker explicate this hard-edged frankness in your TV chair at home... Dig? You're not audience. You are subject! You are actor, really. That's you up there, pal. On some level? You. Like a Crumb cartoon.
Consider, there is no good reason why what you're watching couldn't be happening to you! Perhaps you're only deceiving yourself that you are not part of the freak-show Vaeni pours through your assaulted sensibilities... gird your loins, reader!
Vaeni did. Vaeni does!
But, hang on. What's Jeremy Vaeni on about?
Well, a seemingly sane and abundantly rational Jeremy Vaeni thinks he has inter-operated with the perplexing, enigmatic, and indefatigable *other*, boys and girls! That, in part, is reflected transparently in a long human history. I'd be casting a duplicitously unflattering light if I just said... "abducted by aliens."
See, I shan't give a reader the opportunity to dismiss him so quickly! That would be insult waiting for injury. Abducted.
I remind the reader that there is more to her heaven and Earth than she can dream... whether he chooses to regard, admit, and cop to it... or not! Moreover, I remind and encourage these lads and lassies quick with that easy dismissal (...regarding uncomfortable concepts to which Vaeni alludes?), that they are disserved by their ignorance. Moreover, bad news does not get better with age! Finally, any bliss detected within an "ignorance" is at best but a dangerous lie... ...always!
Made uncomfortable by the honesty of Jeremy Vaeni, the observer is served even if it is only that an observer finds heartfelt relief they are not Jeremy Vaeni. See? In a strange way, Vaeni demonstrates a rare courage so that you (and I) don't have to, reader! ...Even as you are encouraged to a little courage all your own.
That was Christ's gig, eh? I digress.
Vaeni has similar "sack" reader! This is forgetting he has an eccentric strength of tested convictions, apparently, too!
In a near quarter century military career I was a veteran of combat and senior training staff at hard-corps Officer Candidate schools, folks. I know what courage is. Vaeni has same, essentially, philosophically, and artistically, with requisite abundance in proverbial spades.
Additionally, in clarion answer to Peggy Lee's timelessly poignant question... what the reader sees in apparent operation around them is not "All There Is." Disabuse yourself of that notion.
No. Precipitously, Vaeni helps strike those scales from wearily watering eyes! Finally, he's abundantly convincing with regard to the outlandishness he suggests, reader, because he is so damned honest about everything else!
...Everything else, reader.
When you see the film? You'll understand what I mean. See the film. Everything else just gets a little bit clearer.
Winding up, I suspect the reader will agree that Vaeni's film is many things. Among these are that the film is nothing like the reader has ever seen. Its deprecating honesty is brutally, if non-violently, sincere. Its production values are excellent and damned if you don't find yourself, like extended friends and family, liking this strange future-anchored man named Jeremy Vaeni... even as he leads you to the very edge of credulity (and sanity?)... where you'd jump intellectually, yourself, if you had a lick of artistry or scintilla of imagination and soul. I suspect Vaeni won't push you. Watch out for me though.
In closing: Vaeni soars and cleaves in the spirit of the finest Giordano Bruno and, that good, may even live to grace the stake of same. There are worse ways to end your days, reader. Read on!
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In addition to producing (out of thin air by report!) "No One's Watching: An Alien Abductee's Story," Vaeni has stocked his DVD with a host of illuminating extras and amusing features.
In part, two tracks of commentary provide something for everyone, even the viewer who is astonishingly if conceivably under-whelmed with one Jeremy Vaeni. The first is commentary by Vaeni himself. It provides interesting details, notable facets, and remarkable elements to the screen presentation.
The second commentary, one composed by Vaeni's friends, roommates, and associates literally made this writer want to wade into their midst with Buford Pusser's famous fence-pole and clean a few uninformed, complacent, and deserving clocks for their banal commentary and bawdy impertinences!
Vaeni is a writer of a regular column in "UFO Magazine," and author of a book titled "I Know Why The Aliens Don't Land"!
Try to keep up. I am.
See more at:
http://www.valiens.com/Read on!
Mon Mar 06, 2023 3:56 pm by onlychild
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Subject: No One's Watching: An Aliens Abductee's Story 
