Hmmm. You have been reported as abusive.

Have a pleasant day,

Fixer

Oh. I had a look and it seems that the individual one may wish to choose to have less exposure to must agree to be categorized as such. I may be entirely mistaken but the offer of software underwriting still happily stands.

Thanx LG, and I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your companion animal to predators. I hope you will be OK.

Cheers,

Fix'

Lesley, your cat is with the Goddess Bastet. He is very happy, and will probably visit you to make sure you are OK. Cats are very mystical, and there is a reason the ancient Egyptians revered them so much.


Goddess Bless,

Lloyd

Thanx LG, I'll give it a whirl.

Fixer

I know the pain of losing a loved one only too well. I have had many cats in my life, and am planning to go to the animal shelter and have a cat adopt me. I have been without a companion for over a year, and I think it is time for me to have one.

Goddess Bless,

Lloyd

It seems to work as you suggested LG. Thank you very, very much.

Stay strong LG,

Fixer

Lovely -- it does work! Oh, happy day! lol!

alienview@roadrunner.com
> www.AlienView.net
>> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
>>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

I feel queasy and shaky writing this... third try.

On July 21 1958 (an easy date to remember not only because of the experience but it's the day after three cousins birthdays) I was 14 and as always the clan was gathered at the family property up North. It was a simpler time - there were not so many worries as today. No worries and less people... you'd be hard pressed to find a human within 20 miles of us back then.

I had a nasty burn on the inside of my right calf because I dumped my uncle Johnny's old surplus AJS Stormer in the sand pit that day... and pushed it back after I'd flooded it from being tipped over. That burn kept me from sleeping. I have that scar to this day.

With a whole bunch of people on the property us "kids" got to sleep out in tents and my grand parents had the main cottage and the adults had the other cottages and a few tourist trailers. Maybe 20 or so on the property that night.

It was a hot clear night and my cousins all got air-rifles for their birthdays. Saundra always was the best shot and it drove Greg and Tommy mad. Gran made us all nice pork roasts in the big oven and Aunt Edna brought three birthday cakes all the way from Kingston and those giant cream puffs they don't make anymore.

I remember uncle Johnny playing guitar and singing Buddy Holly and Elvis around the fire. Aunt Lolly sang some Maguire sisters tunes. I miss those days.

I can't say what time we all went to bed - it was dark. I was in a tent a little up from the beach and my nephew Matt kept talking in his sleep... he still does. I remember not being able to sleep and being hot and my leg stung and at some point I heard a sound like a cicada but the tone varied up and down and I thought it must have been morning because it seemed light outside through the tent wall - but there were no bird sounds or the bullfrogs. It was a nice tent. It had a zipper and didn't have as much "tent stink" as the older tents. I remember the sleeping bag smell too.

I remember fiddling with the buggered section of the zipper, I remember walking toward the beach (only 40 or 50 feet away) and wondering why it was so light out and looking South down the bay. It should not have been "that" light out. I remember both dogs Buster and Tiki growling but not barking.

The next thing I recall is standing in the bush about 5 or 600 feet away in the dark almost near the road but over the ridge West of us. Gran said she heard me cussing - I recall yelling, "What the Hell am I doing here?" Grampa told me some years later what she'd said I said. I don't cuss like that and I've never talked in my sleep.

She thought I'd tangled with a skunk or raccoons or a porcupine. I do not know what happened between the beach and the gully - I must've been pretty upset to cuss like that.

I remember Buster and Tiki getting to me and they blew past me at full-tilt heading down the gully on the beaver path parallel to the bay I guess Grampa or my Dad let them off the lead. It was more light down that way or so I seem to remember. I remember hand-torches coming over the ridge and then no light and then light beside me and then Dad getting off 5 rounds from my Mom's Lee-Enfield and Grampa had his Mauser raised but did not fire.

Mom made Dad get out of bed... same with Granny and Grampa. Mom said she heard the frogs stop and the buzzing sound start and the dogs. Gran said she saw the light move back in through the bush South. Uncle Johnny and Matt? Slept right through the shooting. Everybody else was "up" instantly. My niece Neve was crying. Buster and Tiki came back after there was noise at the camp.

I had a very unpleasant conversation with my Dad - he smelled my breath - and when I said I didn't know what happened, I took a pretty good beating. Granny didn't talk to me for over a year. I still don't know what happened - maybe sleep walking.

I was branded as "high strung". In that time... that was "not good".

Thirty-some years later I was on a BBS looking for something or other to do with Don Berliner and I heard about the Hill case. I eventually found one of the hand drawn pics of what Betty Hill remembered as "them". My blood ran cold - still does. I wanna barf.

"That" image was already in my head and I have not one iota of an idea of how it got there before seeing that drawing. My guy was chalk-blue had a rectangular brighter blue thing that for whatever reason I think maybe was some sort of "camera". The light had a blue hue and I don't recall any point-source. Just that one single image from the waist up in the bush. I suppose that's all I'm allowed.

After my wife passed I had a colleague from the military discreetly help me find a "good" MD "outside". At McGill I took the time for some regression therapy and some grief counseling. Buddy didn't find anything new. I begged that SOB for a week to jack-me-up on sodium-amytol mainline and dig it out. He refused.

I'm exhausted. I need to lay down and get my heart rate down and have a sleep.

Most folks will laugh at this account. Some who won't - "know".

Fixer

You want to send private messages to me that I need help I'm just sick of souls like you who want to play judge on others. I hate being this negative but people like you bring out the wrost in me I'm not this negative most of the time but I'm sick of people like you who only want to argue you will not hear you can not understand. I know that when I read your posting on heaven. That's why I left you alone there but you are the soul that made it sound that I was a GODless soul.

We'll have to agree to disagree! It clear to me all you want to do is point fingers and argue then say to others that they have the problem, have it your way.

We're never going to coummunicate with each other, since its clear you can't or won't read. I said it again that IF YOUR GOD I'D RATHER BURN IN HELL, from your private messages you still have me in hell so your saying that your GOD. I will not bow to fake a GOD's like you.

You don't have to worry about me since I don't belive that there is a burning hell but we make our own heaven and hell on earth.

To me there is no good or evil but only LIGHT and DARKNESS. There is a light in every soul, being and/or thing on earth, that light is a piece of the universal oneness (GOD/GODDESS) there to shine.
With our free will that light is different within each person if we work together and also bring in the unseen lights, aliens, ghost and/or whatever, we all will be back to the oneness of GOD/GODDESS and not just one soul at a time but all souls who work together. That is why I keep pointing out that you where in the dark, to me you have closed off your light and cant see GOD/GODDESS anymore.

I'm not anger, I'm sad for you and I know you will not understand but to me living my life without seeing the Light of GOD/GODDESS within me and around me would be a living HELL. I personal feel that is where you are. You will always be welcome to join us just walk towards the light That's where I'll be.

Till then We're just going to have to agree to disagree.

PEACE OUT!

P.S. Why don't we just be nice to each other, since I know that I'll be talking to a brick wall when I talk to you.

Thank you fixer for sharing your experience. UFOs and paranormal just wasn't talked much in those days (the same for mental illness and any other problems of society). I hope reading about the Hill case got you to try and remember what happened to you on that fateful night.

When I read the book captured, the images of the aliens did send a few goosebumps through me. I definitely see why Barney was so terrified during the experience.

I rerun it in my head a least a thousand times a year. It isn't a comfortable thing. I sublimate. Yeah. Sure. I have an "instant", the Hills had much, much more. Terror? An overwhelming sense of threat and "other" is what I'm left with personally - maybe even on a kind of a "species-level". I may never be able to move past it - not easily assimilated when I thought I was only maybe sleep-walking and when I saw that pencil sketch it may have become impossible for me. If I dwell on it too much - I get in a funk and hours are like seconds.

"Good alien", "bad alien" - alien. It is incomprehensible to me that "this issue" isn't studied at the highest of levels - publicly. That is unless... there is or "was" a very, very good reason for that not to be "in the shop window". You too have military experience kidflash2008 - you know the drill AND you know the "show" from this side too. It doesn't take much to arrive at the sum. It's a zero-sum game with an undetermined event-horizon.

Thanks for understanding kidflash2008. My granddaughter helps too... helps a lot.

Cheers kidflash2008, cheers,

Fix'